The world is a dark and cruel place, but perhaps made even warmer by Alamo Drafthouse’s tweet claim Vin Diesel is the man who started us all.
The internet’s 24-hour news cycle meme brain has arrived once again, with a loving sh*tpost from Vin Diesel being added to 3D Model Memes this week. Starting with Lady Gaga and continuing with Andre the Giant, Diesel has the last laugh because it seems like we’re all his la familia.
Diesel has always looked a bit like a standard model in an RPG, and now it’s very hard to overlook him as Adam, the first human on Earth. Pity about his hair.
Before the bombshell news from the Alamo Drafthouse, scientists widely assumed that we evolved over time from single-celled organisms to the modern-day monstrosity of thumbed creation that we are today. The diesel revelation throws a real wrench into the job there, but it all makes sense in a way and eventually makes its own Fast and Furious Character seems grounded.
Alternatively, Diesel could be a timeless being for whom age does not change. A void vampire who feeds on the endless families that have spawned from him. Secrets of Lovecraft are hidden in Diesel’s mind, bringing him as close as possible to a human library.
If we are all closely related to Diesel, his status within the larger family needs to be clarified. Is he the creepy uncle? The fun-loving stepfather? Your grandfather with a dark wartime past? Or your stupid younger brother? Regardless, Diesel’s new position as the all-father of mankind should be hopeful.
Perhaps out of pity we are all forced to look fast 10 like watching your child’s school play out of sheer duty. This is all a sophisticated trick to improve checkout performance.
fast 10 hits theaters on May 19, 2023.
https://wegotthiscovered.com/celebrities/alamo-drafthouse-claims-were-all-descendants-of-vin-diesel-and-you-cant-argue-with-that/ Did Adam really look like Vin Diesel? Alamo Drafthouse latches on to the internet’s newest meme