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Woman slammed for finding bride’s relaxed wedding rules offensive

A woman has been slammed online after breaking her sister-in-law’s relaxed wedding rules.

Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a woman using the anonymous username u/StatisticianOwn3954 shared her story to get feedback from the “AITA” community.

The original poster (OP) began her story by declaring that she will be married in three months. At her wedding, she had two rules: guests should avoid wearing the colors white and emerald green, since white is the color of her dress and emerald green is the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses, and people should call in by a specific time to report to be included in the reception.

Describing her relationship with her sister-in-law, she said they have an “ok” relationship as they are not “extremely friendly”, but they get along.

During her fiancé’s birthday party, some of OP’s friends spoke highly of how lax their wedding rules were and how nice it was to attend a wedding where they didn’t feel like they were “walking on eggshells.”

Sister-in-law finds wife's wedding rules offensive
Two women are arguing at a table. Posted on Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum, a sister-in-law was slammed for finding a bride’s relaxed wedding rules offensive.
Antonio Guillem/iStock/Getty Images Plus

“I said that’s not me at all and I just want my guests to have fun too, so I don’t want to impose a lot of restrictions,” OP said.

One of her fiancé’s friends showed OP her dress to make sure it was okay for her to wear it and wanted her approval. OP said she loved the dress and encouraged her to wear it. She told the friend that overshadowing the bride was “not easy” and if someone did, she didn’t think it was a big deal.

Not having her sister-in-law in mind when discussing their wedding rules, she found OP’s comments offensive. At her sister-in-law’s wedding, the rules were stricter as it was a child-free and strict dress code. OP confirmed that she listened to her rules but never intended to offend her sister-in-law as she only spoke about her wedding rules.

OP wrote: “She called me and said I enjoy shadowing her subtly. She called me a snake and told me that if I had to say something, I should say it to her face. She and her husband left the party.”

news week contacted u/StatisticianOwn3954 for comment. We have not been able to verify the details of the case.

news week has published several articles on conflicts with in-laws, including a woman who refused to babysit her in-laws’ children after an emergency and a woman who refused to greet her “rude” in-laws when they visited.

How to choose the dress code for your wedding

Alexis Eliopoulos O’Mara, a professional wedding consultant at Weddings by Alexis, narrates news week that she has worked with countless weddings with different dress codes including Black Tie, Black Tie Optional/Formal, Semi-Formal, Cocktail Wear, Formal, Casual and Beach Chic/Tropical.

“I find that couples often determine the dress code for their wedding based on the reception venue and their own attire,” O’Mara said.

“When a couple is getting married in a barn it can be casual, formal or even semi-formal, but it is not typical for a black tie dress code to apply in this setting. Just like if the reception is at a 5-star hotel in town, the couple likely doesn’t have a casual or smart dress code, they’ll likely ask guests to dress in robes, long dresses, tuxedos or dark suits,” she continued away.

She added that if a couple is getting married on a beach but the bride is wearing a flowing white dress, they can ask their guests to wear semi-formal or formal attire instead of beach chic.

news week explained wedding dress code and what it means in an article about a “non-traditional” wedding.

Redditor reactions

“[Not the a**hole]. Your SIL called you a “snake” when you just said a few rules for your guests wasn’t your style. Sounds like narcissistic behavior to me,” u/ATC_zero wrote, earning the top comment from over 8,000 upvotes.

“[Not the a**hole] – sounds like she’s aware of how uptight she was, and takes your “coldness” as a dig at her. Definitely sounds like ‘her problem’ and not ‘your problem,’” added u/PuzzleheadedToday13.

U/HeartpineFloors voted for OP: “And here I thought it was the sun that the earth revolves around and it turns out it’s your SIL! I’m impressed though, I have to tell you. It’s the rare Bridezilla who manages to stay at another Bridezilla’s wedding.

U/Sireyn said, “So your former Bridezilla SIL is screwed for having the confidence to believe that you won’t be outshone on your wedding day when some of your own wedding rules may have been crafted to prevent that very scenario.”

“Your day, your way. Have them talk dodgy to their TV while binge-watching.” say yes to the dress when she so desperately needs to feel smug and validated about her own decisions. [Not the a**hole]’ the commenter continued. Woman slammed for finding bride’s relaxed wedding rules offensive

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